Miscellaneous pix

Here are some pix to feed your Richie addiction until my chief photographer (aka Mommy) gets her butt back to LA do some publicity shoots!

Today's phrase

When performing my daily makeup application, I announced, "I need more eye shadow!"

Today's phrase

On hearing a truck making sound outside, I asked, "Whatcha doing, NEIGHBORHOOD?"

Radio silence

Mommy claims her computer is not working, so I can't get my message out for time being. Talk about prior restraints! (Unfortunately, as I've gathered from reading Mommy's BarBri outline, Mommy probably isn't a state actor, so I'm out of luck under the First Amendment. On a side note, babies should totally be a protected class! But I digress...)

You will not be able to see adorable pictures of me for about a week. But here are a few cute anecdotes I am smuggling in via a co-conspirator (does anyone see a hearsay exemption here?).

I thrilled Mommy and Grandma by demonstrating my dance skills to the bad Muzak at Wendy's the other day. I think I'm ready for "Dancing with the Stars"!

Last night Grandma had some strips of fish cake sitting on the countertop waiting to be rolled up into sushi. While Mommy and Grandma weren't paying any attention, I grabbed a strip, then waved it triumphantly and ran away.

At the market last night, I heard a baby screeching, so I began to screech really loudly, too. And boy, do I have a pair of lungs!

I refused to be put into my carseat on the way home from the market, declaring, "No carseat! Nuri drive!"

I ate a pear for breakfast this morning and remembered that the "Very Hungry Caterpillar" also ate some pears ("Cat-ah-pillah eat peah! Nuri eat peah!"). And you all know what happened to him...

That's all for now, folks. I gotta catch up on my beauty sleep.

How about an allowance already?

My phrase of the day: "I need more money!"

Bubbles

Today I had a great bath. I flung bubbles onto the bathroom floor and escaped from the tub ("wet nudist!") to try to attack Mommy with them. I also gouged out little pieces of bar soap and called them "stars." How on earth could Daddy find my hour-long bathtime show exasperating? I should install a webcam in the bathroom so he can watch, but I'm afraid those Dateline predator people will catch on and come after him.

Bling bling!

I've been wanting to add a bit more bling to my look for quite some time. The Elmo clothes really don't do it for me anymore. Mommy refuses to buy me gaudy medallions, so I had to steal Grandpa's watch to experiment for effect.

Daily roundup

Today's likes: "Figure skating" across the living room carpet, sticking my finger in the hole I bit through my sippy cup and exclaiming "How did I do that?"

Today's dislikes: Every time Mommy tried to sneak off to study. I can combat this by lying on the floor in front of her room, wiggling my fingers under the door, and asking "Whatchoo doing, Mommy?"

Wat-ah wat-ah everywhere...

Today I proclaimed myself to be a "wet nudist." Here is the proof.

ROTFL

Actually, more like "rolling on the chair laughing."

Daily roundup

Today's likes: Turning the gas knobs at the Korean restaurant, sprinkling pineapple soda all over my Grandma's carpet.

Today's dislikes: Getting dragged away from the garden hose after getting soaked.

Today's words and phrases: "Grandpa mess it up!"; "I have nipples!"; "Ready, set, go!"

Today's antics: After watching ice dancing on TV, I began prancing around the room with my arms over my head and announced "I skating!"

New words and phrases

Today Mommy and Grandma taught me several new phrases while watching "World's Most Amazing Videos": "Ha ha!" (with schadenfreude laughter); "Loooooser!" (same); "That's amazing!"

I applied my newfound knowledge by announcing, "Auntie Loooooser!"

Daily roundup

Today's likes: Spraying all the plants in the house (and all my little friends) with water from a spray bottle, 72% cacao dark chocolate

Today's dislikes: Sleeping (see phrase below)

Today's phrase: "I'm not sleepy yet!" (what I told everyone all day, which is why my nap came at 3)

Today's antics: I love messing with my Auntie's mind by saying "Bad Auntie! Auntie time out!" some days, and "Good Auntie!" on others. This morning was emphatically a "Bad Auntie" day. Hee hee!

Bongo

My word of the evening was "drumming." I demonstrated for Grandpa by banging on the table with my hands, then my soup spoons. Isn't noise wonderful?

Peekaboo!

My new best friend

Today I learned how to tuck in my little friends (and my not-so-big one). Since Mommy is so busy studying for her stupid test, and Daddy has abandoned me, I had to find a new parent figure.

Is there a doctor in the house?

(Note to Mommy: What kind of patient will take me seriously if I'm wearing feetsie-PJs? Not even an MD-PhD can overcome the ignominy of feetsie-PJs.)

Nuri Noo-Noo

I can slurp with the best of them!

Quote of the day

When Mommy showed me a picture of Mary holding Baby Jesus, I said, "Jesus cry! Wah wah!"

The Very Hungry Cat-ah-pillah (Pudget edition)

This story is so boring, I had to add embellishments when I told it to Mommy this morning.

Mommy: What did the hungry caterpillar eat?

Me: Cat-ah-pillah eat wat-ah-lemon.

Mommy: What else?

Me: Cat-ah-pillah eat TWO wat-ah-lemon. Cat-ah-pillah ate too much! Cat-ah-pillah tummyache. Cat-ah-pillah barf! Cat-ah-pillah choke! I kiss Cat-ah-pillah! (air kiss)

Morning roundup

This morning's likes: Pringles Sour Cream--the full fat version (Mommy has not replicated the Olestra disaster, thank goodness)

This morning's dislikes: Breakfast with no grapes. Can't my entourage manage to fulfill my simple needs?

Morning's words and phrases: "Auntie timeout!" (the first words out of my mouth this morning, on remembering when my evil auntie turned the volume down on the TV last night); "Nuri nudist!" (what I exclaimed when Mommy took my PJs off to change my diaper)

Naughty Noo-Noo

Antic update: On finding a mini-wetvac in a closet, I exclaimed, "I find Naughty Noo-Noo!"

Antic update

When watching a "Smart Balance" commercial, I recognized the background music as coming from one of my many Mozart DVDs, so I shouted "Baby Mozart!" Who says classical music is dead?

Rosy cheeks

I usually have a natural glow, but in California, that's simply not enough to attract any attention. So today I decided to augment my pigmentation with a little Chanel blush. Mommy says I look trashy, but she's just jealous that she doesn't have the cheekbones to pull off this look. Or the eyelids to pull off this eyeshadow. Or any eyelashes, for that matter. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

Nobody comes between me and my panda . . . Nobody!

Grapes of pudgetry

The other day I was furious with Daddy when he gave me grapes for breakfast, and two errant grapes had fallen off their stems. He is soooo incompetent sometimes, I really think I should let him go. Today Mommy did better and gave me a whole bunch (literally) that were still attached. Gosh, after 12 years together, couldn't Mommy train Daddy to follow simple directions?

Cutting coupons

If only they had coupons for Barney DVDs...

Mid-daily report

Likes: Chocolate chip cookies, chicken noodle soup, fried rice (I ate very well today!)

Dislikes: The prospect of riding in my carseat after all that airport driving we did on Tuesday ("No ride!")

Words and phrases: "Fortune cookie" (what I demanded when Grandma put some fried rice in front of me for lunch)

Antics: I gave each and every stuffed animal in the house a big, elaborate hug this morning ("I hug Panda!"; "I hug Mocha!"; "I hug Bak-a-va!"; "I hug Pap-ee-ka!"; "I hug Basmati!" etc.)

Happy Valentine's day!

Just give me a bow and arrow (not an ugly camo one like Daddy's), and call me Cupid! I will doff my clothes and deliver a box of chocolates and a singing telegram for only $29.95.*

*Limited time offer, one per customer. Box of chocolates will be delivered to Mommy. Songs are restricted to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," "London Bridge is Falling Down," and "La Cucaracha" (which can be very romantic when sung with the right accompaniment, I assure you)

Just me, looking cute

'Nuff said.

See weed?

As an epicure, I am always willing to sample food more exotic than fruit snacks and Chex mix. Take, for example, "dried roasted laver," which is a staple in every Korean household. It makes a nice, salty, crunchy accompaniment to rice, with notes of sesame oil mixed in. And it looks great on teeth, too!

Mid-daily round-up: Crime and Punishment edition

Antic 1: After Daddy left for the airport, I was heard exclaiming "Sorry Daddy!" and "Be nice!" I was referring to when I hit Daddy this morning, of course.

Antic 2: Whenever Mommy gives me a time out for hitting, I intentionally whack my huge head against the padded leather sofa, then wail that "I bonk head" in order to garner sympathy.

Antic 3: When I sat down in my red plastic chair, I spontaneously declared "Time out!" and said "I'm sorry." (Mommy and Daddy have conditioned me, you see, the same way I condition them to wake up at 5:45 am to correspond with my morning fussing.)

Daily Roundup

Today's likes: Clapping my hands with shoes on them, looking at myself in a handheld mirror

Today's dislikes: Riding to the airport with grandma (her driving makes me carsick!)

New words: "Don't worry about it" (when daddy accidentially bonked me with my Elmo ball and apologized). "I eat dirt" (see below)

Antic of the day: Licking a rock and complaining about the dirt on my tongue. Then, when daddy showed me how to rinse and spit to get it out, I decided to lick it again so daddy would have to let me do it again.

Daily roundup

Today's likes: Grapes, edamame, my Elmo ball, roughhousing with the Daddy Monster

Today's dislikes: Everybody but Grandma, who unlike Mommy and Daddy recognizes my inherent brilliance and charm

Phrase/antic of the day: "Daddy take it away scissors!" (what I accused Daddy of when he came to get me this morning, in reference to his cruel confiscation of the scissors I was using to help Grandma cut coupons yesterday); "Coupon!" (what I exclaimed upon seeing the aforesaid scissors later today)

Horsing around

The Daddy Monster and I have been playing tackle with each other lately. I usually let him win, so as not to hurt his feelings. Don't tell, okay?

Hat trick

Do you think this hat makes my head look big?

The plant doctor

Today I helped Grandma with her gardening by poking her dead plants with sticks and kissing them to make them feel better. How empathetic of me!

Sky cap

I got a few tips during our trip to LA for my excellent baggage handling services. But I think I'll stick with my day job of being an adorable little passenger.