My new girlfriend

Tonight Mommy had a craving for apple pancakes, so to IHOP we went. Although I rejected the eggs and sausage, I chowed down on bacon and pancakes. Afterward, I hung out in the lobby with a really cute little girl. Usually I prefer blondes, but she had these irresistible beads in her hair that she would shake whenever I got close. I chased her in circles, danced with her, and generally copied her every move. Finally, when it was time to go, I decided to give her a hug and some kisses--on the feet!

Later in the car, Mommy told me that boys should kiss ladies on the hand. I informed her, "I not gonna kiss lady's hand--I only gonna kiss lady's foot!"

"T" is for "teppanyaki"

When Great-Aunt Betsy sent me a cool new tapir for my birthday, I had no idea why Mommy insisted on naming it "teppanyaki." Today, in honor of Daddy's last day of work, she finally deigned to let me in on the secret. I found the pyrotechnics a bit over the top, to be honest, but the egg tossing antics were so diverting that I have been practicing with imaginary eggs all evening (and supplying my own applause after the egg lands on my chef's hat).

They gave me a pair of trainer chopsticks, which I expertly employed to shovel vast quantities of fried rice, shrimp, and chicken into my mouth. I flirted with a baby girl about 2 years my junior as well as a blonde who was 2 years my senior, a la Age of Love. All in all, it was a very enjoyable evening, even if I wasn't the guest of honor.

Mugging for the camera

Here I am displaying my coy smile, which I usually reserve for cute blondes sitting in the row behind me on airplanes.


Now check out my scary face, which I use to intimidate my enemies.

Finally, my Mr. T impression:

Play-doh blow darts

Check out my new trick! I'm still working on my trajectory, but it's a very effective short-range weapon.

My generous spirit

The other day I gave Mommy a gift I thought she would enjoy, but I was puzzled by her reaction. Here's how the transaction played out:

Me: (grabbing a fistful of air and handing it to Mommy) Here you go!

Mommy: What's that?

Me: I give Mommy a heart attack! That's nice.

An observation

Today I observed, "Mocha never says 'Woof woof' but he has a mouth!"

Roughhousing with the Daddymonster

Yesterday I attacked Daddy with cunning skill, much like a cheetah taking down an antelope. Too bad Daddy is so old and slow and defenseless!