Greedpudget

Me: I want to have Christmas again.

Mommy: Sorry, baby, but Christmas comes only once a year.

Me: No! I want to have 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 Christmases!

Eavesdropping

Yesterday, as usual, I declined to take a nap at school. So Mommy and Daddy were waiting for me to fall asleep in the car on the way home. As I was fading out, my eyes closed, and Mommy turned to Daddy and whispered, "He's down." Suddenly, my eyes flew open and I indignantly cried, "I'm not down!" Then I fell asleep.

Tyger, Tyger, Fussing Bright

When I woke up this morning, I demanded to wear my Halloween costume. Although I cut quite a ferocious figure, I am really a cuddly critter at heart.

A big pudgety thanks!

Thanks to everyone who thought of me this Christmas! Here I am opening presents (not all of them mine) on Christmas morning. I got a lot of cool new toys, but best of all, I got to spend a fun-filled four-day weekend reading stories with Grandma, playing Legos and blocks with Papa, flying my helicopter with Daddy, and coloring with Mommy.

Now back to reality (school, germs, and refusal to potty train)...

All grown up now

When Daddy tried to spoon-feed me ice cream, I protested, "Don't do that! I'm not a baby!"

Signs I watch too much TV

Yesterday while playing with Play-doh, I suddenly announced, "He went to Jared!"

Pudget of Christmas past

'Tis the season to be fussy!

Baby love

Mommy: Some day you will be too old to hug and kiss and snuggle with your mama.

Me: No, I'm not too old! I like that stuff!

Brotherly love

Mommy: You are my best boy!

Me: What about baby brother?

My new PJs

My grandma sent me these cute new PJs, which are perfect for the holidays. Thanks Grandma!

My nightmare

Me: I had a bad dream yesterday.

Daddy: What happened?

Me: I dreamed I made Mommy and Daddy miserable!

The season of giving

Me: (handing a piece of gravel from Grandma's garden to Daddy) This is for your birthday!

Daddy: Thank you.

Me: (handing another piece of gravel to Daddy) And this is for your Christmas time!

Left out

Yesterday I spied a picture of Mommy and Daddy taken in Japan in 1999, but something was amiss. I protested, "They left Nuri at home!"

PB&J

Grandma told me that a baby named "Joey" would be coming to Thanksgiving today. To which I immediately replied, "Peanut butter!"

Christmas guy is coming to town

When Mommy showed me a picture of Santa Claus and asked me who it was, I answered, "Christmas guy!"

Growing up

Today Mommy demanded her morning kiss, but I turned away and scoffed, "I'm too old for that!"

Pumpkin patch fun

Last Saturday was a lovely fall day, so we drove through the Columbia Gorge and stopped off at the pumpkin patch for some fun.

The contrapositive

Mommy tries her best to get me to eat by making logical arguments. Too bad I'm smart enough to play that game as well!

Mommy: Richie, you have to eat so that you can keep growing. Some day you are going to stop growing, and you will be a grown-up.

Richie: So I don't have to eat anymore!

The North Shore

We hung out at the North Shore, where we watched some intrepid surfers.

20,000 leagues under the sea

Daddy dragged us on an overpriced submarine ride, and I had fun watching the fishies, sea turtles, and sharks swimming around.

Ocean view

We explored the windward coast of Oahu, and I practiced my rockclimbing skills with Daddy's help.

Waiting for the Pineapple Express

While Mommy was doing her boring work in Hawaii, Daddy took me to the Dole Pineapple Plantation and we rode a choo-choo choo-choo train called the Pineapple Express! Here are pictures of me waiting for the train, some pineapple plants, and some koi that I fed.

Runaway Pudget

Since I barfed on the plane ride home from Hawaii, and Mommy forgot to pack extra clothes for the flight, we had to make do with Daddy's fleece.

Zoo trip

Today Daddy took me to the Portland Zoo, and I had a lot of fun petting the farm animals, watching the sea otters, and riding a fabulous choo-choo choo-choo train. Pictures to come, as soon as my worthless IT support (ie, Mommy) gets her lazy butt in gear and posts them.

Evidence of my cuteness

I have been keeping Mommy and Daddy in stitches lately. Here are some of my classic lines:

1) When Mommy said we could go anywhere I wanted as a reward for napping at school, I thought for several minutes and finally declared, "Applebee's!"

2) When I wanted a sip of Daddy's drink, I asked, "Can I have some more gingerbread ale, please?"

3) When I watched a Star Wars spoof and Mommy asked me where all the spaceships were going, I surmised, "Cincinnati airport!"

Talking back

Today Daddy admonished me, "Stop whining!" To which I replied, "I want Daddy say, 'Keep whining!'"

Chickadee-dee-dee

The other day, Mommy helped me make a bird mobile featuring a chickadee. She started to sing the chickadee song that Great-Aunt Betsy taught me when she came to visit, but I indignantly cried, "No Mommy sing! Only Betsy sing that song!"

Everyone's a critic

Today as Mommy got into the car, I declared, "I want Daddy to drive!" Mommy asked me why, and I retorted, "Mommy is a bad driver!"

Blueberry picking

Luckily Grandma's blueberry bushes recovered during my weeklong absence, so there were plenty of blueberries for me to pick today. I'm careful to pick only the big ones, which I call the "Daddy blueberries," and leave the little "baby blueberries" alone. I expect I'll be eating the latter the next time I stop by Grandma's house.

Pool boy

Today Daddy and I took a relaxing dip in the pool at Grandma's house. Mostly I just wanted to work on my tan, but I did engage in some minor horseplay with the Daddy Monster.

Dirt devil

One thing I love about our new house is all the clumps of dirt I get to pulverize.

Greetings, earthlings!

We're finally in our new town, and life has been good. Yesterday they let me loose in Ikea to pick out a big boy bed, and I ran around gleefully hiding under the covers. I like my new school so much that when Daddy tried to pick me up yesterday during an important art project, I hissed, "Don't bother me!" Life is good so far, and I will try to get those lazy bums to take some pictures of me soon.

My new girlfriend

Tonight Mommy had a craving for apple pancakes, so to IHOP we went. Although I rejected the eggs and sausage, I chowed down on bacon and pancakes. Afterward, I hung out in the lobby with a really cute little girl. Usually I prefer blondes, but she had these irresistible beads in her hair that she would shake whenever I got close. I chased her in circles, danced with her, and generally copied her every move. Finally, when it was time to go, I decided to give her a hug and some kisses--on the feet!

Later in the car, Mommy told me that boys should kiss ladies on the hand. I informed her, "I not gonna kiss lady's hand--I only gonna kiss lady's foot!"

"T" is for "teppanyaki"

When Great-Aunt Betsy sent me a cool new tapir for my birthday, I had no idea why Mommy insisted on naming it "teppanyaki." Today, in honor of Daddy's last day of work, she finally deigned to let me in on the secret. I found the pyrotechnics a bit over the top, to be honest, but the egg tossing antics were so diverting that I have been practicing with imaginary eggs all evening (and supplying my own applause after the egg lands on my chef's hat).

They gave me a pair of trainer chopsticks, which I expertly employed to shovel vast quantities of fried rice, shrimp, and chicken into my mouth. I flirted with a baby girl about 2 years my junior as well as a blonde who was 2 years my senior, a la Age of Love. All in all, it was a very enjoyable evening, even if I wasn't the guest of honor.

Mugging for the camera

Here I am displaying my coy smile, which I usually reserve for cute blondes sitting in the row behind me on airplanes.


Now check out my scary face, which I use to intimidate my enemies.

Finally, my Mr. T impression:

Play-doh blow darts

Check out my new trick! I'm still working on my trajectory, but it's a very effective short-range weapon.

My generous spirit

The other day I gave Mommy a gift I thought she would enjoy, but I was puzzled by her reaction. Here's how the transaction played out:

Me: (grabbing a fistful of air and handing it to Mommy) Here you go!

Mommy: What's that?

Me: I give Mommy a heart attack! That's nice.

An observation

Today I observed, "Mocha never says 'Woof woof' but he has a mouth!"

Roughhousing with the Daddymonster

Yesterday I attacked Daddy with cunning skill, much like a cheetah taking down an antelope. Too bad Daddy is so old and slow and defenseless!