Arachnid jurisprudence

Today I noticed a spider on the window and told Daddy a story about it.

Daddy: What is the spider doing?

Me: Working?

Daddy: What is he working on?

Me: He's working on a bench memo. He doesn't have any boring bench memos--he only has interesting bench memos!

Introducing Baby Brother!

As you may know, a certain red-faced, screaming little monster has invaded my space recently. But I'm cool with him because I'm the big kid in town, and it's my job to teach him the ropes. Here are some neat pictures of me chilling with him.

A lawsuit waiting to happen?

Mommy: (after warning me not to tackle Daddy because he's too old) Don't hurt your Daddy!

Me: Because he's a lawyer?

Vampire bugs

This morning at school, my friend Jolynn greeted me by pulling up a pant leg and announcing, "I have a mosquito bite." To which I astutely replied, "They just like to suck your blood!"

Cause and effect

Mommy: (trying to roll her ponderous body out of bed) I'm too fat to get out of bed.

Pudget: But when Baby Brother comes, you will shrink and then you can do it!

Spring training

Mocking Mommy

Everyday I have to listen to Mommy whine about how Baby Brother is kicking her and generally making her life miserable. So yesterday on our way home from school, I finally decided to give her a taste of her own medicine.



Me: (in a shrill, sarcastic voice) Oooooh! Baby Brother just kicked me!



(In addition, I've been declaring myself "too fat" to do various things Mommy asks me to do.)