Is it just me or is Mommy getting fat?

Today I was very empathetic toward Mommy, who looks like she's sprouting a watermelon-sized tumor on her tummy. Here are a few examples:

1) As Mommy and I were going down the stairs, I informed her, "You don't have to pick me up. You're too fat, and I'm not a baby anymore!"

2) When Mommy's belly crashed the dining table against the wall, I turned to her and asked, "Do you need help? I worry about you!"

The real truth

Yesterday morning, I came crashing into Mommy's room at the crack of dawn. As usual, Mommy was snoring.

Me: You wanna go find my secret treasure map?

Mommy: Not right now, I'm too exhausted.

Me: No you're not! You're just lazy!

Oops

When I accidentally tore my little sponge gazelle in the bathtub, I was dismayed to learn from Daddy that glue doesn't work on such things. I observed, "It is not a puzzle. You cannot put it back together!"

Lacrosse lesson

Today was my first stab at playing lacrosse. I had a good time and tired poor old Daddy out.

He's having a baby!

Me: (holding up my puppy Joey) I'm Joey's daddy. Joey was in my tummy, and then he popped out!

Chewy

Me: (holding up a squeak toy) Mama, what's that?

Mommy: That's a squeak toy for dogs.

Me: Why?

Mommy: They like to chew on it.

Me: (thinking hard for a minute) It's like gum for dogs!

Bigger and bigger

Me: I'm getting fatter than Mommy!

Mommy: Noooooo...

Me: But I'm growing!